Philophobia
by solitarybliss
Summary: Kurosaki Ichigo, son of the CEO of KuroCorp, betrothed to Inoue Orihime, younger sister of the CEO of Inoue Enterprises. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Orihime’s housemaid, a certain Kuchiki Rukia… [IchiRuki] [AU]


A/N: This is my first attempt at fan fiction in years because Bleach is love. I love the IchiRuki pair so very much that I just had to write about them. I just think they're the match made in heaven, absolutely adorable. Much love to them both. And lastly, yes this is AU.

Disclaimer: Please, Kubo would not be writing a story here. Therefore I am not Kubo Tite, and therefore, I do not own Bleach. The plot is mine, and that's about it. And if by any strange reason there is a story similar to this somewhere, then it would merely be a coincidence.

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If only one word could be used to describe Kurosaki Ichigo throughout the course of his life, it would be a little something like this.

Age 0-5: Adorable

Age 5-8: Carefree

Age 8-13: Bullied

Age 13-16: Impulsive

Age 16-20: Hormonal

Age 21: Screwed

Yes screwed, just absolutely and positively screwed. 23 year old Kurosaki Ichigo's life was screwed the second his father, Kurosaki Isshin, announced his own selfish decision to betroth Ichigo to a young lady whom Ichigo had never met before.

"_Her name is Inoue Orihime of Inoue Enterprises. As you very well may be aware of, Inoue Enterprises own the other half of the major hotels in Japan. We must keep our enemies close to us Ichigo. KuroCorp's own hotel chain can not be jeopardized by them. Understand, Son?"_

Ichigo had nodded mutely still trying to force his brain to comprehend the situation at hand.

"_You had begged me to allow you to switch your major to medicine since you have no intention of taking over the company after me. Those were your own words Son; you said you would do anything for me if I let you pursue your dream of becoming a doctor. It's time to keep your word Ichigo. Do this for the company, for me."_

Ichigo is a man of his word. So he had said yes; he stupidly said yes to his stupid father and his father's stupid plan.

For the first time in his life, Kurosaki Ichigo knew he was a complete moron.

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"Rukia-chan, please remove Orihime's hands off her ears and keep her still," sighed an exasperated Inoue Sora.

Kuchiki Rukia gently pried her mistress's clawed hands away from her skull and whispered, "'Hime…Listen to your brother all the way through. He wants the best for you, please?"

Inoue Orihime, a 21 year old young woman, was acting like a three year old. She covered her ears and stomped her feet at her older brother's new proposal. She didn't want to get married now, and especially not to someone she didn't even know or let alone met! She believed in marriage for love and happiness, a very rare notion in Japanese society. However, the idea was getting more popular among the young people now-a-days. Pouting, Orihime obeyed her life-long friend and servant and cast her doubtful eyes upon her brother.

"Thank you 'Hime. Look, Onii-chan just wants you to be settled early and taken care of by someone I'm confident in their abilities to do so. KuroCorp's CEO's son is a very bright and handsome young man. I'm sure you'll like him."

"But Onii-chan! I don't even know this guy! What if he's a bad, bad person? What if he's a robot from outer space who has come to earth to destroy us all?" As she spoke, Orihime's eyes grew wider and wider. "He might look like a human on the outside but on the inside he's all wires and really controlled by Riri, the ruler of the planet Kapuchu, the planet of killer robots!"

"…'Hime, he won't be a robot." Rukia interjected kindly. "But if you're so worried why don't you meet him before you have to marry him? See what kind of person he is, and if you really hate him, I'm sure Sora-sama wouldn't force you to marry him."

Orihime lifted her gaze to her brother's face, pleading, "Please, Onii-chan…?"

Sora sighed and nodded his agreement to Rukia's suggestion. "I'm not a heartless brother. Of course I won't force you to marry him if he's a complete jerk. Why don't you two date for a while and see how it goes. I'll talk to Kurosaki-san to arrange something."

Both Rukia and Orihime smiled as they watched his retreating figure flip out a cell phone and in a booming voice laugh, "Ah, Kurosaki-san! How have you been?" As he turned the corner the two girls looked at each other but simultaneously jumped as Sora poked his head in the room announcing, " Oh right, Rukia-chan, you will be their chaperone. Proper young ladies out on proper dates should always have chaperones. Tend to her like you tend to her at home, and we'll be just fine."

The lump in Orihime's throat disappeared. Oh how much better it is to have her most trusted friend accompany her on a date with a complete stranger.

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Kurosaki Ichigo stared at the picture in his hands. Long flowing red hair, smiling eyes, a cute button nose, full pink lips, and oh my Lord that rack! The girl was a beauty alright. Ichigo wouldn't be missing anything in that department. The question was, would they be able to make a successful marriage? Now at the brother of the girl's wishes, they were to date for a year and wait until Orihime finishes her undergraduate studies of business at Keio University to get married. Of course no one considered that he would still be attending med school at Todai. And frankly, to Kurosaki Ichigo, his studies are more important than some girl. But now that things have come to this, he has no way of backing out. The first date would be next Saturday at 1:00 P.M. He was to meet the girl at a local café and get to know each other for the first time.

He had to threaten his father to not bring a video camera because after Isshin had heard his son's agreement to the courtship, he had been ecstatic and claimed he wanted to video tape every second of his son's "wooing of the Red-Haired-Beauty," as Isshin so affectionately called the date.

Ichigo hated his life.

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"Rukia! He's hot!" Rukia crawled off her bed and walked toward her mistress who had just come back from retrieving a picture of her new fiancé from Sora-sama. She peered down at the picture clutched in Orihime's excited fingers. A head of orange spiky hair, probably dyed, manly features, kind of, and a lean body; nothing special.

"Why is he scowling…?"

"Well, I think it makes him look more refined and chiseled."

"…Ok 'Hime, whatever you want."

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Saturday rolled around fairly quickly and before they knew it, Orihime and Rukia were walking toward their doom.

"I'm scared… what if he's a wife beater or something?"

"You're not married to him yet, so technically he can't be a wife beater. Besides if he tries to lay a hand on you, I'll decapitate his hand and as an extra bonus; I'll make sure he'll never be able to reproduce again."

The girls were about to round the corner towards the café where they were supposed to meet, when Orihime pulled Rukia backwards before they were visible from beyond the wall.

"Hey… can you go first? Find him and talk to him a little bit. If you think he's weird and definitely a robot, then call my cell phone, and we'll both run for our lives."

"… Sure…"

Rukia walked out from behind their hiding place and strode boldly towards the chairs and tables of the café. She didn't spot any orange yet, but then again her 4'9" stature didn't really give much leeway to her peripheral vision. She was just thinking about climbing onto one of the chairs set outside under large umbrellas to look for the guy, when she crashed her face to the chest of a very large somebody.

A pleasant scent filled her nose, _Mm…Smells like rich people_. Then she toppled backwards toward the concrete ground. Rukia fell hard on her bottom, scraping her hands and legs in the effort of breaking her fall. She let out a squeal of pain and glanced upwards to see what monstrosity had caused her to hit the ground so hard. There was nothing. Confused, Rukia turned around and saw the backside of a man with orange hair walking away from her spot on the ground. She couldn't have bumped into anyone else except him; there wasn't anyone else on this side of the street. Anger bubbled up inside of her as she yelled out a piercing "Hey asshole!" The person kept on walking. Rukia was fuming now.

"You with the ugly orange hair, get your ugly ass back here right now!"

This time it worked, the young man turned around to gaze down at a small girl sitting on the concrete who looked ready to slaughter him this instant. Rukia recognized his face in an instant. _Great 'Hime, a real gentleman you have here._

"Hey asswipe, you knocked into me, knocked me down, and you just walk away without even an apology?!" Ichigo just stared at her silently as she continued sensing his silence. "The least you can do is say sorry! Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

Ichigo had been so preoccupied thinking about his next thesis that he didn't even realize he had knocked someone down. He just thought it must have been a chair. That was one really noisy and foul-mouthed chair though. The comment about his mother jolted him out of his thoughts and back to reality. How dare this obnoxious girl talk about his dead mother that way?

"Excuse me? And who are you to teach me some manners?" Ichigo marched up to where the girl was sitting. "You weren't looking at where you were going either. It just so happens that I'm bigger that your gnome size and you just tipped over."

Rukia had always been a little sensitive about her size. She hated when people called her short, _I'm not short!_ She would always say. _Just vertically challenged._ The future husband of her mistress, provider of food and shelter for her ever since the death of her parents, just called her a gnome. Rukia stood up slowly. She wasn't in the mood to argue with this rude idiot, so she did the only other thing she could do that would relieve her frustration. _ Sorry, Orihime-sama…_

She punched him.

Ichigo reeled back in shock seizing his nose as it started to spout red liquid onto his clothes and the gray concrete. _Damn, that midget could hit hard._

Rukia took this chance to reach into her pocket to pull out her cell phone and dialed Orihime's number. "Well 'Hime, I know he's not a robot for sure. How do I know? See for yourself, we're under the yellow umbrella."

'_Hime? Why does that sound kind of familiar?_ Ichigo would worry about that later; right now he would just try not to beat the crap out of the dark-haired girl in front of him. He saw said girl walking away and stopping to talk to a girl with long flowing red hair…

_Oh shit._

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A/N: Well that's chapter 1! I hope you enjoyed it! - Please leave reviews, and constructive criticism is very welcome!


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